brave it out and tell people you got in a fistfight with a shark. whenever i have super obvious upperbody/face bruises i just make up silly stories. if I try to hide it people always take me aside and get all IS DADDY BEATING YOU or something.

i have actually given myself black eyes from running into doors MULTIPLE times, tho i am more notorious in this household for running into trees. we have these small ornamental fig trees in our yard, and sometimes chasing the chickens i forget that the branch clearance is extremely low and will run RIGHT into it trying to dodge for the chooks.